#ProjectBigSmile

Life is not meaningful...unless it is serving an end beoyond itself; 

unless it is of value to someone else. 

- Heschel

It's that time of the year, where we near Christmas and the holidays, and as we try zip through to the new year, we can easily forget those in need.  

I'm in the process of clearing out my art studio, which is filled with all sorts of things - old toys, stationary I never use, old clothes, blankets, bits of paper and note books... you know what I mean... we all have a draw, a cupboard or a basket that has things in it you haven't seen in a while.  

Often we clear out, and we find these things, and we just rearrange them back into a new ordered space, and back into the box we go.

Today, I want to inspire you to make a difference in someone's life. #ProjectBigSmile

Take time to clear out before the new year, and give the things you don't use to someone who needs it.  It may be a stranger, or you may want to bless a children's home or old age home.

I sent out a tweet this week giving away my desk.  Asking if anyone knew who needed one, and someone who could collect.  Within minutes @MegPascoe (on twitter) sent me a tweet with a children's home that needed items and their contact details.  The next day they came and collected.

A few weeks ago I read an update from a friend of mine @ElanTanur (also on twitter).

He had paid for someone's groceries at the shops, unexpectedly helping someone he could see was struggling.

The last time I went to Arts on main, there was a girl giving guitar lessons to street children, on the side of the road.  She had guitars, they were strumming along, off key no-doubt, but having so much fun, singing on the top of their lungs, enjoying every moment.

My boyfriends father, Mano Paxinos, started a Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/Pink4Cancer) last month - he collected money for Breast cancer awareness.  A disease that touches both women and men, and the people in their lives.  He put a pink streak in his hair, and people that asked him, what on earth that was about, he told them.  He made a significant donation to two charities, all the details on the page, and continues to make a real difference in people's lives, wherever he can.

This morning I saw that my friend Kyle King is off to the children's hospital, dressed as a mouse, to spend time with the children.

I hear stories like this often.  And the small difference it makes to us, makes a huge difference to someone else. 

So I invite you to find little ways that you can make a difference in someone's life, and don't let money be the thing that holds you back.  It could be simply spending time with someone who doesn't get visitors.  If you have a talent - art, music, an activity you love - go share it with someone who would enjoy doing those things, but don't have the opportunity to get out and do that. 

There are friends collecting Santa's shoeboxes for children, there are some friends making a soup kitchen or food packs for Christmas day.  There are others going to play the piano and do Christmas carols at old age homes.  When my Nana was still alive, I used to visit her in the retirement home, and drop off biscuits for the other old ladies, brush their hair, rub cream into their hands, and listen to their never ending stories.  Precious time, for both them and for me.

During the holiday period, it is known that people feel most alone.  While some of us are making plans with family and friends, making holiday plans and thinking of gifts to buy for those we love, take some time to remember that there are many that don't have the luxury of friends or family in their lives, that don't have the option to go away.  

So I'd like to remind you that you can make someone smile.  Big.  By doing something small.  What can you do to serve someone else, even in a small way, to make a big difference?

#ProjectBigSmile

Thor: The Dark World

If you're into action, eye candy and you love superhero's then get to the cinema to watch the latest Thor: The Dark World. This is my favorite of the Marvel movies to date, with an amazing story line, non stop action, and a few moments of passion - keeping you in suspense and on the edge of your seat throughout the film. With unexpected humour, all in the right places, you won't be disappointed. 

This is the best movie I've seen in a while and if you're looking for a story with a great ending, go see Thor! Oh, and remember to get your 3D glasses, and you'll enjoy it even more. Let me know what you think once you've been. 

Life, is it how we see it?

Hermann Rorschach's 129th birthday celebrated with interactive Google Doodle and has inspired me to write today's post.

As a psychology student I have always been interested in the many ways we have considered, created and innovated various methods to understand humans. 

 It was in my 4th year Varsity that I did my thesis on Princess Margaret.  A psychobiography using Erik Erickson's theory to understand the various stages of her life, and what impacted her at each stage. Understanding her psychosocial development through each of the 8 stages from infancy to late adulthood and how she possibly dealt with each crisis was very interesting.  She lived in the shadow of her sister, she was always in a Royal scandal, from having an affair with the gardner almost 20 year her junior, to singing at the piano in nightclubs, she always found her self at a party and often in the gossip columns.  She still fulfilled her royal duties while everyone was focused on her sister, the Queen.

Princess Margaret

Unlike Freud, who was a id psychologist, Erikson was an ego psychologist and his theory shows how the ego develops as each crisis is resolved, distinctly social in nature.

As social creatures, Rorschach has used a range of inkblot test which covers a range of diagnostic issues.  His view was to understand disordered thinking which could be revealed through these inkblot tests.  I'm sure it's reliability and validity has been questioned over time.  I can however see, how having the conversation around what is seen would add some insight into the psyche of the person dealing with their issue.

Erik Erikson 

All of this is very interesting, and no matter what it is that you are dealing with: pain, heart-ache, sadness, anxiety, stress, depression, bipolar disorder, or just having a bad day, the best way to start solving the problem is without judgement.  

Keep an ear out for that inner voice, the beating stick, the voice that judges you so harshly.  The things you say to yourself, that you would never say to your best friend, or even a stranger in the same situation.  The truth is that life is for the living, and living means experiencing good times and tough times.  I invite you to observe your thoughts about yourself, to listen to the voice inside that speaks and thinks... and catch yourself in the moment... ask yourself if what you are thinking is true, or an old belief?  If that belief no longer serves you, then find another belief which is more positive and true about where you are in your life.  Are you really critical about yourself?  Be gentle with yourself.  Be good to yourself.  Don't let your thoughts take you away from your dreams and aspirations.  Most of all, keep it light and be curious rather than critical about managing your internal conversation when you're in a crisis or having an off-day.

Life will have it's challenges, but how we respond to those will determine how satisfying life is.  And of course, who knows you better than yourself?

If you want to see an overview of the Google Doodle,

check out the link on Slideshare

http://slidesha.re/1hRSd00

#RorshachDoodle

#chocnology

A spectacular evening was spent at the MOAD gallery in Maboneng this evening glitzing and glaming around outstanding creations of 3D art work, made of chocolate. 

My two favourite things, technology meets art to create #chocnology. 

Innovation at its best, the evening was a blast... From chocolate to bubbly to mingling with all my favourite people at the worlds first 3D chocolate exhibition.

Each design was sculpted using the Android™ operating system and 3D tools to create artwork never seen before. 

If you're in Joburg pop by the Museum Of African Design (MOAD) in Johannesburg’s Maboneng Precinct which is now open for public viewing until Sunday, 10 November 2013.

And of course it's just up the road from Arts on Main, so make a day of it on Sunday. 

Reflection on 2013

It's been a while since my last blog, and I guess it's indicative of this time of year, when time flies and you realise weekend after weekend that we are closer to 2014 than perhaps some of us would like to be.

It's so interesting to get to this time of the year, some will say, there are ONLY 8 weeks left of the year, and others will say, thank goodness there are still two months left of the year.  Either way, time waits for no-one, and as the old adage goes, time flies.

I have been looking back at the year, and 2013 has been a great one.  A tough one.  A hard one at times.  A year of change.  Good change.  A year of opportunity.  A year that I learnt alot. About myself.  Life.  Friendship.  Growing up.  Toughening up at times too.  A year of amazing memories.  2013, and I know it's not over yet, but glancing on the 10 months so far, has been good to me.

I'm grateful for everything I have, and I'm grateful for the growth and lessons and learning more about myself.  I have the most amazing boyfriend, I'm blessed with an awesome family, and my friends are the best.

I hope that whatever has found it's way to you this year, has all in all been better than 2012, and that you've found your joy... and even through the not-so-great moments, you can look past them and see the lessons, gifts and friendships that have made it all worth while... and most of all, that you are happy.

Enjoy the last 8 weeks of the year.  Make the most of every day, because that's all we have.

What has been the highlight of your year, and what are you still looking forward to?

Jozi by night

It's Spring, and the time of year where we start going out and razzling with our friends, and for some of us, our boyfriends ;) So what is there to do in town, in the week or a Friday night in Joburg?

Something fun, that's not just eating and/or drinking. Sure, this is also the time of year to try amazing new places to go out for drinks and a bit of a party, but for now I'm thinking beyond that... something different to do in Jozitown on a gorgeous Spring evening with your other half?

So I made a list:

Bowling and red velvet cupcakes
My favourite illy coffee and a movie
Ice skating
Comedy night at Parkers
A show at the Barnyard theatre
Mary Fitzgerald Square often has live entertainment
Book launches at JoziHub
Adventure golf - Fourways & Brightwatercommons
Jozi has the night bus - so if you do go out and drink use it
Soweto by night tour
Visit the zoo by night

24 hour art gallery in Hillbrow and Constiution hill
Maboneng is banging on a Friday night
There are often night markets on Main
Good Food Studio wine evening at Pick 'n Pay William Nicol
Stargazing at the Planetarium at Wits - especially if there is an eclipse
Quiz night at the pub
Learn how to make sushi together at the Hilton Hotel or uChef
An amble around Exclusive books and then Seattle coffee shop
Exhibitions and movie night at Wolves

I'm sure there is more to do... so feel free to add anything else in the comments and let me know what you've tried and loved!

Magic of possibility

The magic of possibility.

"Don't be afraid to go where you've never gone and do what you've never done, because both are necessary to have what you've never had and be who you've never been." Mike Dooley

Love

About love and "the one"

There is so much pressure to find "the one".  You may find yourself in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, and then you question what if this is "the one" and I am ending things, and I've missed out on what was supposed to be the best thing in my life?  What if I make the wrong decision.  What if I stay and there's more hurt down the line.  The confusion consumes you.

We've all been there, and we've all had those conversations going round and round in our head.  Sometimes you find that you are with someone who can seem so perfect for you, but when the fundamentals of the relationship get thrown off by values and beliefs that don't match, we start to question and doubt our decisions.  We forget what we want.

I was having a conversation with a friend today, about this.  She has been dating this guy for a while, but there are certain things that are so different about them, that they've been arguing about, that have been making them both doubt the relationship.  So many things about the relationship are great, but things that make her happy and that she wants in a relationship are not there.  But he's a great guy she says.  There so much she loves about him.  How much is she willing to give up, how much is he willing to concede, how much are they both willing to compromise of themselves for the other, to be together.

Sometimes you need to walk away - not to make someone else realise how amazing you are or what they're missing out on, but for YOU to acknowledge and recognise your own self worth and to give yourself the chance to experience all that it is you want in life.

It's an interesting place to be in, but one thing I've realised is that we don't trust our gut and we don't follow our intuition, because we so badly want the person we love to be everything that we want in a relationship.

How does the perfect feeling feel?

Mostly, it feels good.  It feels easy.  It feels like if you're compromising you're not giving up things that you know are your fundamentals for a relationship that you desire.  You don't feel like you're holding onto something that can be taken away.  You allow it to flow, and it flows naturally.  You both feel alive and that you are still both free to be who you are, while allowing the space between you to bring you closer.  You watch how everything unfolds and you feel like you are part of something magical and it feels good.  You feel grateful for the person you have in your life and you feel like you like yourself when you're with them. You appreciate each other and you feel cared for.  You still focus on the relationship that you have with yourself and those around you.

Relationships have their challenges.  They are there to help us grow, see other parts of our selves, and find out things about what we want, and don't want.  One thing I've learnt in life, is that no matter what is meant to be in your life, it will come your way, at the right time.

Don't get caught up in finding "the one".  Just be your fabulous self.  Don't give up on what you want, because you believe you may not get better than what you have.  Don't give up on what you have, because you are scared to be hurt.  Always follow your heart, you were born with it, so you can trust it.

It's been a while

It's been a while since I last blogged.  This has been a year full of all things challenging and exciting.  But it's also been a while since I've felt as content and truly happy as I am feeling.

A lot has changed and there is so much newness in my life, so I'll share a few things that have gotten me into a good space.

Things that have been significant this year:

1. I've let go of and stepped back from people that were negative in my life and that treated me badly
2. I've accepted my role in those friendships and relationships and learnt from them
3. I've healed through life coaching by dealing with 'what is', and accepting where I am in life
4. I've realised how grateful I am for all the wonderful people and experiences in my life
5. I've lost 25kg's and gained health - and I can see my chin again! ;)
6. I have the most amazing boyfriend, who I've known for 5 years, but only connected on this level with recently.  I can't ask for anyone better.  That saying of "someday you'll meet someone and it will make sense why those relationships never worked out before" makes total sense now.

What can I share?

1.  Let go of friends and people who bring you down
2. Surround yourself with people who are positive and share your successes
3. Open yourself to new opportunities and be in a space of allowing the newness
4. Look at life with the perception that everything goes well for you
5. Choose things that are available to you now, and you'll always have what you want
6. Keep moving forward and see challenges and moments of growth, not set backs
7. Let go of old beliefs that no longer serve you - ask yourself... is this still true for me? does this serve me?
8. Love.  Love people who love you or don't love you back, even if you love from a distance. It doesn't mean you stay in a bad situation.  It means that you have no resentment. Love heals.  It heals you and the situation.