Friday, August 30, 2013

Magic of possibility

The magic of possibility.

"Don't be afraid to go where you've never gone and do what you've never done, because both are necessary to have what you've never had and be who you've never been." Mike Dooley


Thursday, August 29, 2013

About love and "the one"

There is so much pressure to find "the one".  You may find yourself in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, and then you question what if this is "the one" and I am ending things, and I've missed out on what was supposed to be the best thing in my life?  What if I make the wrong decision.  What if I stay and there's more hurt down the line.  The confusion consumes you.

We've all been there, and we've all had those conversations going round and round in our head.  Sometimes you find that you are with someone who can seem so perfect for you, but when the fundamentals of the relationship get thrown off by values and beliefs that don't match, we start to question and doubt our decisions.  We forget what we want.

I was having a conversation with a friend today, about this.  She has been dating this guy for a while, but there are certain things that are so different about them, that they've been arguing about, that have been making them both doubt the relationship.  So many things about the relationship are great, but things that make her happy and that she wants in a relationship are not there.  But he's a great guy she says.  There so much she loves about him.  How much is she willing to give up, how much is he willing to concede, how much are they both willing to compromise of themselves for the other, to be together.

Sometimes you need to walk away - not to make someone else realise how amazing you are or what they're missing out on, but for YOU to acknowledge and recognise your own self worth and to give yourself the chance to experience all that it is you want in life.

It's an interesting place to be in, but one thing I've realised is that we don't trust our gut and we don't follow our intuition, because we so badly want the person we love to be everything that we want in a relationship.

How does the perfect feeling feel?

Mostly, it feels good.  It feels easy.  It feels like if you're compromising you're not giving up things that you know are your fundamentals for a relationship that you desire.  You don't feel like you're holding onto something that can be taken away.  You allow it to flow, and it flows naturally.  You both feel alive and that you are still both free to be who you are, while allowing the space between you to bring you closer.  You watch how everything unfolds and you feel like you are part of something magical and it feels good.  You feel grateful for the person you have in your life and you feel like you like yourself when you're with them. You appreciate each other and you feel cared for.  You still focus on the relationship that you have with yourself and those around you.

Relationships have their challenges.  They are there to help us grow, see other parts of our selves, and find out things about what we want, and don't want.  One thing I've learnt in life, is that no matter what is meant to be in your life, it will come your way, at the right time.

Don't get caught up in finding "the one".  Just be your fabulous self.  Don't give up on what you want, because you believe you may not get better than what you have.  Don't give up on what you have, because you are scared to be hurt.  Always follow your heart, you were born with it, so you can trust it.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

It's been a while

It's been a while since I last blogged.  This has been a year full of all things challenging and exciting.  But it's also been a while since I've felt as content and truly happy as I am feeling.

A lot has changed and there is so much newness in my life, so I'll share a few things that have gotten me into a good space.

Things that have been significant this year:

1. I've let go of and stepped back from people that were negative in my life and that treated me badly
2. I've accepted my role in those friendships and relationships and learnt from them
3. I've healed through life coaching by dealing with 'what is', and accepting where I am in life
4. I've realised how grateful I am for all the wonderful people and experiences in my life
5. I've lost 25kg's and gained health - and I can see my chin again! ;)
6. I have the most amazing boyfriend, who I've known for 5 years, but only connected on this level with recently.  I can't ask for anyone better.  That saying of "someday you'll meet someone and it will make sense why those relationships never worked out before" makes total sense now.

What can I share?

1.  Let go of friends and people who bring you down
2. Surround yourself with people who are positive and share your successes
3. Open yourself to new opportunities and be in a space of allowing the newness
4. Look at life with the perception that everything goes well for you
5. Choose things that are available to you now, and you'll always have what you want
6. Keep moving forward and see challenges and moments of growth, not set backs
7. Let go of old beliefs that no longer serve you - ask yourself... is this still true for me? does this serve me?
8. Love.  Love people who love you or don't love you back, even if you love from a distance. It doesn't mean you stay in a bad situation.  It means that you have no resentment. Love heals.  It heals you and the situation.